Saturday, February 20, 2010
Tiger's Apology - He Had To Go Public
6:14 AM | 
Posted by
Teresa Smith
When a sports figure who possesses the most recognized face in the world gets caught up in adultery with not one mistress but as many as fourteen, it becomes everyone's business because we all endorsed him. We followed him, we bought the products he pushed, we cheered him on, he was an American Idol without Simon's critique. He was the first in his sport to prove that being ripped posts better results than toting a beer gut around for 18 holes. We wanted to emulate his swing, we wanted to copy his workout regimen, we wanted to learn his mental strength, his discipline. We wanted to be like him, until he let us down. Until he revealed he's a phony.
For the first time since Tiger's SUV sliced badly taking out a fire hydrant, the champion spoke. And following a 13 minute press speech to the entire world, the media began their comments, picking apart his every word. Every news and sports channel began the barage of questions to dissect not just his words but his intentions.
I think his followers have a right to know, but they're asking the wrong questions. They're asking if he really meant what he said. Was he sincere? Should he have cried? Was it a good tactic that his wife was not at his side during his speech? Will he make the Masters?
When news first broke that Tiger had committed adultery it was more than conversation around the drinking fountain at work. It was everywhere. You couldn't escape it.
Working in a marriage ministry as I do lends itself to using events like this for introspection and understanding and for lessons in how private sins eventually become public sins, and when they do the pain can be devastating. (More on that later) The questions the media is asking are the wrong questions.
Tiger said his intent is to work on "his issues" and work on being a better husband and father. He only mentioned golf twice and said he may come back in 2010 and he may not. That is not his focus right now and though I believe his fans deserved an apology, his fans should now move on and support him. And the media needs to give him space, but they won't.
While discussing Tiger after a game of pickup ball one day, one buddy said, "I don't understand why he did it, after all he has all the money in the world and is married to one of the most beautiful women on the planet". Dude, think about what you just said. My buddy should know better. His logic was saying that riches+beauty=marital harmony. How ludicrous yet his mind was not far off from what it is we pursue as a culture hoping to make A+B=C.
Truth be told, the answer most of us want is why did Tiger do it. Why did Tiger's marriage callapse. Why couldn't Tiger drop the winning stroke and come back from any marriage rough he got himself into? A friend close to the demands of professional golfers told me that when you consider Tiger's tournament schedule, commitments and endorsement demands, it conceivably might allow him 50-60 days at home per year. Think about that for a moment. In a given year, he spends 300 days on the road either practicing, competing, filming, traveling etc.
Let's consider any man with a wife and two small children who is gone more than 85% of the time. The conversation in the Woods home could be something like this: We have two children that need a daddy around, HELLO. How much money is enough, you said we have more than we could ever spend? When do the children and I get to be with you? When are you coming home? Can't you cut out some of those tournaments?
Back to why Tiger did it. Every marriage/family must be given a high priority or it will suffer consequences. When marriage vows are not given high priority the door is left open for sin to enter. Sin is where Tiger went wrong. Sin is where you and I go wrong. In Luke 12:1-3 Christ gives us a sober warning. "Watch yourselves carefully so you don't get contaminated with...phoniness. You can't keep your true self hidden forever; before long you'll be exposed. You can't hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known. You can't whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public; the day's coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town."(Msg)
The lesson here is that private sin is only temporary private sin. God said that he will not be mocked (Gal. 6:7) and that a man will reap what he sows. Marriage has God's sacred stamp on it. Reaping what we sow teaches that sin breeds sin, and hidden sin breeds more hidden sin. As hidden sin piles higher and higher it becomes impossible for the sinner to "manage". As the sin grows it accumulates to a degree that is not nearly as pleasant as the initial sin. The sinner finds himself in a place he never thought he could be as the pressure builds and explodes and he's suddenly exposed.
Why did Tiger do it? Sin. Did he have to go public with an apology? Yes. Scripture says Tiger's sin was already public. When he landed out of bounds his private sins immediately became public sins. The SUV was his exposure point. His sin upon sin took him more public and now the whispers are repeated all over the world. For the rest of us, we must watch ourselves very carefully so we're not a phony.
Back to why Tiger did it. Every marriage/family must be given a high priority or it will suffer consequences. When marriage vows are not given high priority the door is left open for sin to enter. Sin is where Tiger went wrong. Sin is where you and I go wrong. In Luke 12:1-3 Christ gives us a sober warning. "Watch yourselves carefully so you don't get contaminated with...phoniness. You can't keep your true self hidden forever; before long you'll be exposed. You can't hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known. You can't whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public; the day's coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town."(Msg)
The lesson here is that private sin is only temporary private sin. God said that he will not be mocked (Gal. 6:7) and that a man will reap what he sows. Marriage has God's sacred stamp on it. Reaping what we sow teaches that sin breeds sin, and hidden sin breeds more hidden sin. As hidden sin piles higher and higher it becomes impossible for the sinner to "manage". As the sin grows it accumulates to a degree that is not nearly as pleasant as the initial sin. The sinner finds himself in a place he never thought he could be as the pressure builds and explodes and he's suddenly exposed.
Why did Tiger do it? Sin. Did he have to go public with an apology? Yes. Scripture says Tiger's sin was already public. When he landed out of bounds his private sins immediately became public sins. The SUV was his exposure point. His sin upon sin took him more public and now the whispers are repeated all over the world. For the rest of us, we must watch ourselves very carefully so we're not a phony.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Marriage Mentors of D-1 Coach Caliber Needed
1:39 PM |
Posted by
Teresa Smith
Fiesta Bowl 2007 - Boise State vs. Oklahoma
May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance –2 Thes 3:5
Did you see it? The Fiesta Bowl from the desert of Arizona on New Years Day? I do not hold a degree from BSU but I did attend the little school for two years in the late 70’s. Boise occupies a special place in my heart. It was on the campus of BSU that God placed some godly young men in my life to disciple me. It was on this campus that my spiritual molars were cut.
May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance –2 Thes 3:5
Did you see it? The Fiesta Bowl from the desert of Arizona on New Years Day? I do not hold a degree from BSU but I did attend the little school for two years in the late 70’s. Boise occupies a special place in my heart. It was on the campus of BSU that God placed some godly young men in my life to disciple me. It was on this campus that my spiritual molars were cut.
About the game: Some are saying it could be the greatest game in college football's 138-year history. This game offered fans so many stirring and stunning plot twists. It became a test of utter perseverance. Boise State goes for a two point conversion in overtime by calling a “trick play” (statue of liberty) to win it all. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better than that, viewers were privileged to witness Boise’s star halfback (Ian Johnson) take a knee and propose to his girlfriend on national television. And she said yes! A fitting finish to a hard fought battle. Guy gets girl.
Now I have some thoughts for you. Ian Johnson seems like such a neat young man. So courageous, so gifted as an athlete and he plays with such heart and perseverance. I can’t help but to think of all the coaches that have poured into his life to prepare him for this level of play. And did you know he even knits little BSU beany caps? Ohhhhh, say all the girls.
Watching talented NCAA football players makes me realize the hours, days and years of commitment that go into training such athletes. Most major cities now have strong programs in their middle schools, youth leagues, and even stronger competitive programs at the high school level. These top college athletes are developed and trained in programs that have incredible facilities, great coaches, even mentors that push them, cheer em on and believe in them.
Back to Ian. He epitomizes the Bronco team. Undersized. Underdog. Undeserving, some would say. After all, the little school from Idaho was facing one of the giants of college football in Oklahoma. Bigger school, bigger program, bigger budget, bigger athletes. But at some point in their hearts and minds, Ian and his teammates believed they could win and set out to fight the odds. They came prepared and committed to giving it their best shot. Best of all, they had a game plan and executed that game plan to perfection. (if you missed it, you gotta get a tape of the game)
Do you think anyone has taken Ian by the shoulders to say, “Your’e going to need survival training for this future marriage”? Do you think anyone has told him that that there is an opponent (1 Peter 5:8) that doesn’t want his marriage to win? Do you think anyone has told Ian that commitment at its greatest level is required and that the odds are against him (more than half of marriages fail)? Do you think he or any young man for that matter can begin to win at marriage without a coach, someone to direct and mentor him into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance? It will take that and more to win at marriage and family. Do you think he and his future wife will have a game plan for marriage and execute that plan? Let’s hope he has a spiritual coach, then in the end the couple will have fought the good fight and won the battle. Man keeps woman. And God smiles.
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